Response to Course Material, IV

    The last month we have spent lots and lots of time with the good old Hamlet. And luckily, I tend to really enjoy the story so it has been very entertaining to me! We have watched several movies, each that depict the story in a different way, displaying different director's interpretations of the classic play. I feel I have benefited very much from watching these films, for when I was doing my close reading I was able to picture the scenes and really put the entire story together. The different films include Branagh's Hamlet, Tennant's Hamlet, Olivier's Hamlet, Hawke's Hamlet, and Jacobi's Hamlet.
     Branagh's Hamlet was very interesting to say the least. The setting in this version was very misleading, for it was not a modern castle yet it also wasn't in a castle that matches the actual Hamlet setting. Also in this movie, as well as in the others, it was portrayed as though the family was secluded and out of touch from the people of Denmark. It was made very obvious that Hamlet and his family were from Denmark due to their platinum blonde hair and blue eyes, another distinction from the public. Overall this film was okay, but definitely not my favorite, the acting was poor and it did not stay very on path with the play.
     Tennant's Hamlet was an interesting modern take on Hamlet. I thought this movie was fairly decent, however again, not my favorite. This movie took place in a very dark castle, that similar to Branagh's Hamlet, did not look like a castle of the time Hamlet really took place. The castle was very dark and again separated the royal family from the public. However, the use of cameras throughout this film made it seem as though someone was always watching, and as if the public or someone greater/an outsider was keeping an eye on everything that was going on in the castle. The mirrors also played a large role in this movie, especially in the argument between Hamlet and Ophelia. The significance of was emphasized when Ophelia lied down on the mirror floor and was contemplating the actions of Hamlet and what the future had in store for them. Also, at the end of this film when Claudius attempted to poison Hamlet and significantly failed, soon after Gertrude drank the poison and all was revealed, Claudius simply, with the shake of his shoulders, decided to drink the poison and fall to his death. The story of Hamlet was pretty well explained in this movie, however the modern parts seems to take away a little bit.
     Next we watched Jacobi and Hawke's interpretations of Hamlet. Jacobi's Hamlet, although it stuck to the story line of Hamlet very well I thought, the bright setting and strange acting methods still prevented me from feeling completely satisfied with it. The bedroom scene between Hamlet and his mother was very unsettling and took away a lot from the movie. This was over excessive and unnecessary. Hawke's interpretation, although my favorite,  was opposite of Jacobi's in terms of sticking to the story line. Hawke's modern interpretation completely strays from the original story, especially the setting of New York City. After watching these two films it was interesting to see classmates take a side to which film they enjoyed more. Jacobi's stuck to the story but was a poor film, whereas Hawke's was a much better film but greatly strayed from the original context.
     The last film we watched was Olivier's version of Hamlet. This film did a great job sticking the story line and I think the setting and cast were well chosen. The castle looked realistic for the time and helped make the entire story seem more real in a sense. The characters were also well portrayed, especially the obvious small age difference between Hamlet and his mother. This was a good film, but I do not tend to particularly like the older films. I still enjoyed it though, much more than some of the others for sure.
     I am glad we watched so many different interpretations of Hamlet, for they each pointed out something new to the story for me. Although it was still difficult in some moments to understand the original text, even when being acted out. I have enjoyed the last month and hope we will discuss Hamlet more in detail, but overall I think I finally have a good understanding of the plot. Although most of our time was spent watching Hamlet, we also did a few other activities such as viewing the history behind Hamlet, including Shakespeare's possible motives for writing the story and why he set it in a certain time age. We also read and annotated an article, "Tragic Balance in Hamlet." The point of this article was merely to observe how elevated diction is not needed in order to emphasize a point, in fact, most of the time it only makes the main point more cloudy. To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what this article was even talking about, its arguments were often contradictory and went in circles.

Open Prompts, Part One #4

2004 Student Responses Question #3

Prompt: Critic Roland Barthes has said, "Literature is the question minus the answer." Choose a novel, or play, and, considering Barthes' observation, write an essay in which you analyze a central question the work raises and the extent to which it offers answers. Explain how the author's treatment of this question affects your understanding of the work as a whole. Avoid mere plot summary.

Student 1:
This student did a great job and wrote a very strong essay. It clearly answers the prompt and provides great evidence and clear examples of the novel the student chose to support his/her thesis statement. The thesis was also very strong and highlighted everything that needs to be answer in the prompt, "In the novel Candide, the young noble travels around the world in order to answer a single question 'Is this the best of all possible worlds?'" This shows what the purpose of the novel is, but also clearly states what the mission of the book is. This student also avoids summarizing the story, but still is able to include key plot points that add to the ability to answer the question. The student explains how Candide traveled to El Decado where there he was faced with a new society in which, "grace and lost did not exist," however, his personality, formed from other whereabouts did not match with this society and forced him to move on. The prompt was well interpreted by the student and they did a good job thoroughly answering. ALthough, I do agree with the AP graders that this student would've benefitted by using greater and more sophisticated diction and syntax. There was also some repetition that occurred and took away from the paper.

Student 2:
This essay has a clear thesis in the beginning and allows the reader to believe that the body of the essay will centralize around that subject, however that is not the case for this paper. At the beginning the student starts off strong and seems to understand what the prompt is asking, but unfortunately as the paper goes on, the student is unable to directly tie back his/her points and examples to support the thesis and therefore looses a lot of depth. Also, while reading this essay I was not very impressed with the chosen diction or syntax. Although I know there is only so much time allotted to write this essay, this student wrote a little too sloppy and unorganized for my likings. I am somewhat surprised this essay received a 6. For instance, the sentence, "Jim and Huck run away from their physical masters, Pop in Huck's case, Jim's owner in Jim's case, and escape on a raft." I know plot summaries are frowned upon, however, I think this student could've done a better job of structuring this sentence, perhaps even by splitting it into two and adding a little more detail. In the end, the student was able to once again focus on the thesis and talks more directly about the prompt, however I do not think he/she came full circle and could've been more affective in their writing.

Student 3:
Similar to student 2, this essay has a lot of potential in the fact that it has a good story to answer the prompt with, and is able to mention the prompt in a thesis in the first paragraph. The student is not able to fully answer the prompt, although he/she does provide examples from the story, he/she doesn't completely connect them and give exact reasoning as to why they are mentioned. The intro and conclusion are not very strong or related to each other; they do not make a complete circle of ideas or focus on the thesis statement.  Again, like the other two essays, diction and syntax were a major issue in this essay and even distract the reader from what the student is really trying to say. For instance, "he never believed that his village and his people would change. But as time gradually passed, changes began to form." This is not a very strong or detailed description, although it is one of the only main and strong points identified in this essay.  This essay was not very impressive, it did not reach its full potential and therefor deserves the 3 that it received.

Close Reading 12/8

For deteriorating Trenton Central High school conditions, seeing is believing

Found at: http://www.nj.com/times-opinion/index.ssf/2013/12/editorial_for_deteriorating_tr.html

In this editorial from New Jersey Times, the author uses a variety of rhetorical devices such as diction, imagery, and syntax to prove how awful the conditions are at Trenton Central High School, and how essential it is that these conditions are paid a little attention to in hopes of raising the graduation rate.
The author primarily uses colloquial diction which keeps the article casual so the reader can easily relate to it, making it clear that the author is like an average person you could run into on the streets. The author does use some words that help the passage going and enforce the point that the school is in such tragic conditions, quoting the school is "a ticking time bomb." This quote gives me an impression that something needs to be done quickly for the conditions are getting worse and worse. The author also mentions some of the obstacles that are preventing the school from being fixed, "a snarl of bureaucracy, politics and hard times." The use of "snarl" made me think of an angry dog that was too viscous to be petted or helped, and therefore does a good job portraying the bureaucracy as out of hand and fierce. The diction the author chose to use in this article played a large role in emphasizing the treachery of the school and the importance to fix its decaying walls.
The author also describes several scenarios throughout the article, intending to paint vivid images in the readers mind to help portray the severity of the schools poor conditions. The school's "abysmal" conditions seen by powerful visitors are well described by the author and allow the reader to have a harsh reaction. The sights of visitors at the school describe, "seeing mold, crumbling plaster, and "the waterfall" - a wall in the gym where water streams down during rainstorms." This instantly places a dismal and dreary image in the mind of readers, emphasizing how awful this school is. Without this image, the article would have lost a crucial piece of information that leaves a large of an impact on the readers and maintains the urgency this article needs.
The syntax also plays a large role in showing the importance of this article. Sentence length is one element the author varies in order to help made some points more important than others. The author uses some shorter sentences to show the concerns of the ones the poor conditions are affecting, "teachers have testified at state hearings" and "parents have pleaded, and students have rallied." These short but key sentences are vital to directly show how the conditions are affecting the teachers, parents, and students. The author also uses longer sentences when providing more detailed information, such as the stats of how many students have graduated in the last year. Without the changes in the sentence length, this article would loose the significance of the impact on the students and their teachers and parents, as well as other important information relevant to this cause.
I found this article very interesting and convincing, I am worried for Trenton Central High School and hope that it will receive the help that it needs soon. I, as a reader, was given this impression because of the authors use of diction, imagery, and syntax.

Response to Material, III (Nov. 24th)

     This month we have done a large variety of things during class. To kick it off we did an in depth class discussion and individual response to the poem, "The Century Quilt." This was a very enlightening experience for me. Even though I was absent the first day with this poem when everybody was to write a practice AP response to this poem, I feel I was still able to get a lot out of the work we did as a class. When I was there the second day this poem was discussed, Ms. Holmes guided us through the poem, line by line, identifying symbols and meanings to the syntax and diction that I would never have been able to notice on my own. This was a good experience because it helped show me what to look for when reading a poem. Also, when the rest of the students did their second practice essay to the poem, while it was only my first, after doing the analysis with Ms. Holmes's help I felt I was able to better construct a essay than if I had attempted it on my own. I think this helped me a lot with my poetry analysis, however I think there is still much room to grow.
      Another exercise we did this month was the fish bowl discussions with Death of a Salesman. This was a somewhat frustrating exercise, however I still really enjoyed it. I liked that instead of just the 'leaders' of the class guiding the discussions, everybody had to take part. It was interesting to for once see everybody's views, for the people who are typically quiet, had very good points to make. This was somewhat frustrating mostly because sometimes while in the circle I would either not be able to speak all my thoughts because someone else was overpowering or having a deep discussion with one other (much more concentrated discussions), or I would have a lack of thoughts and was not able to contribute to the discussions. Also, sometimes while outside of the circle I would have points I would want to bring up but was not able to. I liked these discussions because I think we got through a lot more material, however I like the large group discussions better because they allow people to freely comment and seem to have a more comfortable atmosphere.
       We have also begun to do the mood and atmosphere exercises. I have enjoyed these quite a bit because I personally like to describe things a lot. However, it was somewhat frustrating at times to try to get everybody to agree on how the picture made them feel, as well as to try to construct a sentence or paragraph using more verbs then adjectives like usual. I have felt that I have gotten a lot out of these experience though, for it was interesting to me to see changing the wording and a few words here and there can really change the entire meaning and feel of a sentence. I have really enjoyed these exercises and have grown a sense of admiration for those who can just simply combine a few words into a perfectly elegant and flawless sentence, I hope as we do more of these exercises I can get closer to their level!
       Lastly and most recently, we have read the famous Hamlet. When I first saw on the board to bring my copy of Hamlet to school I was a little nervous. However, once I found out that meant we were going to be reading it aloud in class I was greatly relieved. For understanding Shakespeare has never been one of my strengths. Reading Hamlet in class with the help of Ms. Holmes's great insights was a entertaining and intriguing experience. To be honest, the first time the lines were read aloud by someone I often times had no idea what was going on, however Ms. Holmes's and other students did a great job of filling me and other confused students in on the key details and explanations to what had happened. What I found most interesting about Hamlet was all the subliminal messages and digs Shakespeare wrote in about the time era. Last year I had read The Other Boleyn Girl so it was very exciting when some of the novel intertwined with that drama. It was also very interesting when Ms. Holmes's would explain all of the biblical references and Church conflicts, I doubt I would've been able to pick up on them on my own. I really enjoyed Hamlet and am looking forward to going through again and putting it together during my close reading.

Open Prompts, Part One #3

2005 Question #1 (I accidentally did closed prompt before)

2005. In Kate Chopin’s The Awakening (1899), protagonist Edna Pontellier is said to possess “That outward existence which conforms, the inward life that questions.” In a novel or play that you have studied, identify a character who outwardly conforms while questioning inwardly. Then write an essay in which you analyze how this tension between outward conformity and inward questioning contributes to the meaning of the work. Avoid mere plot summary.

Student 1:

This student not only answered the prompt completely but also provided many examples as to why The Scarlet Letter displays conflict between conformity and inward questioning, as well as spoke using elevated diction that allowed the essay to flow smoothly. The student's main point is clearly expressed and uses good textual evidence to support his opinions. The introduction paragraph is strong in the sense that it has a good thesis statement, that is even mentioned by the AP graders, "Dimmesdale's tension between outward conformity and inward questioning lead to the novel's message that although one might appear guiltless, all of humanity must confront its inevitable sins or be driven insane by them." This thesis clearly highlights each part of the prompt, the most important part being how the internal conflict reflects back on the work and contributes to the overall meaning. In other AP essay prompts it does not always mention this, however, it is key to always tie back a specific detail to the meaning overall. This student demonstrates this very well by using a well constructed and organized essay, emphasizing sin in the first paragraph, displaying the characters internal conflict with conformity in the second paragraph, the significance of the night setting and scaffold and how they contribute in the third and fourth paragraph, and finally in the conclusion, does a good job of wrapping up his/her point and completely a well rounded essay. I think an 8 is a well deserving score for this essay, for although the overall point and organization was done well, the organization within each paragraph itself was a little sloppy.

Student 2:
This essay was well written, however, I think a 6 was an appropriate score. The student successfully answered the prompt in the thesis and started off strong, however the essay is not brought to a full circle due to the conclusion being a bit lengthy and strays from what is being asked in the prompt. The character's struggle between conformity and inward is well displayed, "she is torn between the security of conforming and the freedom of individuality." This point is well supported throughout the essay in instances when the student mentions that there are times when the character acts sometimes due to being "her husbands little doll" and other times when she is conflicted by this and "internally, Nora, wants more independence." Overall, this student did a great job answering the prompt, however the structure and organization of this essay could have been better, as well as there were some grammatical errors that were at times somewhat distracting. 

Student 3:
This student's analysis of Their Eyes were Watching God is more of a summary than an actual discussion of how the main character Janie has internal conflicts of conforming outwardly and questioning her inner self. This idea is not even directly brought up until the third paragraph, "she always knew she would not be happy until she could become her own person." The thesis should have already clearly mentioned this point, however that is not the case so as a result this essay loses understanding. If the student would have mentioned this point earlier the essay could have been better organized and directed more towards answering the prompt rather than just merely summarizing for the first one an a half paragraphs. The second to last paragraph gives some brief examples of how Janie was upset with herself and who she becoming, however, it is not well wrapped up in the conclusion and therefore is not a very strong essay.  

Death of a Salesman

Death of a Salesman Summary and Analysis

About the Author: Arthur Miller was born in 1915 in New York City. He then went on to begin his career as a playwright studying at the University of Michigan. The story was also somewhat based around Miller's own life. Miller's uncle, Manny Newman, and he had a relationship similar to that of Willy and Biff. Newman was also a salesman and enforced a competitive edge between Miller and his cousin. Newman only accepted success from these two and required that they were always confident. When he was younger Miller wrote a short story about the failure of a salesman that eventually he went back to and revised to become Death of a Salesman.

Setting: 1940's in the Loman's house and yard, also the places Willy travels to: Boston and New York.

Characters:
Willy Loman - husband to Linda, and father to two sons. He is a traveling salesman who is worn out from all of the trips. Willy dreams of being successful and wealthy, however he is never able to be fully satisfied. Willy wants to be a good salesman, however he is more interested in manual labor work. He often has flashbacks that eventually begin to take a large tole on him, causing his mental health to diminish quickly.

Linda Loman - Willy's supportive wife, she cares a lot for Willy and is very protective over him. She suffers to see him build his hopes and dreams to a high level and then fail to reach them. Linda is kind of the backbone of the family, she is more realistic and stronger than Willy and is able to guide the family through Willy's times of failure.

Biff Loman - the oldest son, he had everything at his fingertips in high school, very popular, best football player, and he had many colleges looking at him. That is until he flunked math and wasn't able to graduate. From then on he is never able to hold a job and continues to fail at meeting Willy's high expectations for him.

Happy Loman - the younger son, who is basically a copy of Willy. Biff wants success to come easily to him without needing to do the actual work. He feels there is a lot of pressure to meet societies expectations forced on him. He currently works as an assistant of an assistant buyer at a department store, however he acts and dresses as though he is a much bigger deal. Happy is far less superior and feels neglected by Willy.

Charley - Willy's neighbor, he is a successful business worker and has loaned Willy money several times. Willy and him don't have the best relationship however, Willy still calls him "his only friend." Willy has always been very jealous of Charley's success and does not understand how he got it, especially since he doesn't know how to do labor work.

Bernard - Charley's son, he is a successful lawyer and is envied by Willy.

Ben - Willy's older brother who went on a trip to find their father in Alaska but ended up in Africa. There, he claimed to have walked into a jungle and walked out rich. Willy admires him and sees him often in his flashbacks, always trying to impress him.

Willy's Mistress - a secretary at Willy's workplace who does favors for Willy and is also having an affair with him. Willy gains confidence and doesn't feel as lonely while around her. Biff catches the two in the act one time and therefore looses his motivation in his career and fails to graduate high school.

Howard - Willy's boss who treats Willy very poorly and eventually fires him.

Plot: Willy Loman returns home from a business trip in Boston, claiming to have nearly gotten in an accident. Linda recommends that he talk to his boss and request to stop traveling for work. Willy's sons Biff and Happy are home and Willy instantly criticizes Biff of being unsuccessful and a bum. Linda tells Willy not to be as harsh on him and to be happy that he is home. Willy then has a flashback to when Biff and Happy were in high school, Biff was a top football player at the time and three were getting along and were very cheerful. Will speaks hopeful of the future claiming he will one day open a business that is greater than his neighbor, Charley. Charley's son Bernard, then joins them and is looking for Biff claiming he must study math or else he will fail. After Bernard leaves Willy tells the boys they will be much more successful one day than Bernard because they will know how to make an "appearance" and will be well liked in the business world.
The boys then begin chores and Willy and a younger Linda then discuss bills and appliances that need repairing. Willy feels doubtful of his worked and is concerned he won't be able to pay it all, Linda reassures him and tells him he is capable. The Women's laughter is then heard by Willy and eventually she becomes fully visible as Willy enters another flashback. Willy tells The Women he is just so lonely and she claims she chose him. Willy gives her some stockings and says he will see her again in two weeks when he is back in Boston. Willy then goes back to the flashback of sitting in the kitchen with a younger Linda who is mending stockings. Willy immediately feels guilty and gets upset and says he will make it up to her and buy her new stockings. Bernard then enters again nagging about Biff studying and Willy is getting overwhelmed because Linda is also saying that lately Biff has been a trouble maker, scaring the women, driving without a license, and stealing.
Willy goes back to reality, he talks for a while with Happy then Charley comes in. They play cards for a while until Willy imagines Ben in the kitchen with them. Ben says he is on his way to Alaska where many good opportunities await for him. Confused by Willy's absentmindedness, Charley leaves. Willy then goes outside and Linda, Biff, and Happy all go into the kitchen where they discuss Willy's condition. Biff begins to explain how he thinks Willy is a fake, but Linda defends him and then tells them that Willy has been trying to commit suicide. Willy reenters and argues with Biff until Happy suggests Biff and him go into business together, Will cheers up and they go to bed.
ACT II
Willy goes to talk to his boss Howard to ask to stop traveling and work in New York. Howard has a voice recorder that intimidates Willy. Howard tells Willy he thinks his time is done and fires him. Willy then goes to Charley's office and speaks to Bernard about his success and asks how he got that way. Bernard leaves and Charley and Willy discuss Willy's situation. Charley offers Willy a job but he refuses, but borrows money from Charley for all the appliances.
Willy meets up with the boys at dinner and Biff has to break it to him that he didn't get a interview with Bill Oliver. Upset, Willy goes into a flashback with the women. Willy goes into the bathroom and envisions the night when Biff caught him having an affair. When Willy is back in reality and comes out Biff and Happy had already left so he goes to a store to get seeds.
When Biff returns home he finds Willy planting a garden in the yard. They both reenter the house and Willy is angered by Biff's failures. They argue for awhile eventually leading Biff to tears which is comforting to Willy. The family goes to bed except Willy. Willy has another conversation with Ben, discussing the $20,000 insurance money he will leave BIff, while meanwhile Linda is calling him to bed. Willy doesn't answer and Linda and the boys soon hear him speed away in the car.
Requiem
Linda and the boys attend the funeral and are shocked to find so few attended. Biff states that Willy was chasing the wrong dreams but Charley claims he failed because of his career. Biff then offers Happy to finally move out West with him but Happy says no because he wants to finish what Willy started in New York. Linda is left alone with Willy, she apologizes for being unable to cry but eventually does and states "We're free."

Author's Style:
Willy is in most of the scenes so we mostly interpret the actions and interactions from his view however there is no actual narrator.
Tone: The tone of this play is set to be very dry and somewhat sympathetic. This is because Miller often times emphasizes the negative side of stories and makes the reader feel pity for the characters. Also, each of the characters spoke in colloquial language, therefore not adding any significant emotions.
Symbolism: There were many symbols that were significant throughout this play.
The flute - Willy's father used to play the flute so it represents the pressure he feels to reach his father's expectations and also mimics the pied piper.
Tape recorder - represents Willy's lost connection he has with his children when he hears Charlie's children, it also shows Willy's constant struggle with new technology
Appliances (refrigerator, car, etc.) - also represent Willy's struggle with new technology
Seeds - Willy is hopeful of leaving behind something that will be remembered of his, his version of a legacy
Imagery: There were some instances of significant imagery, for instance the Loman's home itself was a very interesting layout, with gaps in walls and no roof. Also the fact that it was a house placed in the middle of the city seems significant.

Quotes:
"Biff Loman is lost. In the greatest country in the world a young man with such--personal attractiveness, gets lost. And such a hard worker. There's one thing about Biff--he's not lazy" (I). Willy to Linda.
This quote is significant because throughout much of the play we are convinced that Willy thinks Biff is completely useless, however we see here that he really does believe in him but he is just trying to push him to be greater. Also, this is a taste of Willy's vision of the American Dream, he thinks being well liked and putting up a good appearance should automatically make one successful.

"Business is bad, it's murderous. But not for me, of course" (I). Willy to Ben.
This is kind of ironic to be in this play since, after all Willy does die the "Death of a Salesman." At this time in the play Willy is still very hopeful and thinks he knows the route to success. This represents how he was once aware of the bad business but did not directly relate it to himself.

Theme:
Arthur Miller's Death of a Salesman suggest society's superficial ideas of success does not always match that of the individual and the denial of one's true desires can lead to catastrophic consequences.

Several of the characters throughout the play are faced with the issue of being placed on pressure from society. Willy feels he needs to be a successful business worker and that this should come easy to him because it does to others according to him. Biff, especially during high school, feels he needs to maintain a "tough guy" appearance. Unfortunately, neither of these characters are able to fulfill these high expectations and therefore pay the consequence. Willy falls to his death and Biff becomes a bum, having no motivation to work. The many symbols mentioned above also all lead and relate to this theme. Each of them emphasizes Willy's failure and incompatibility with the new and upcoming world. The characters are not able to reach society's high, and ridiculous expectations and while they try, most of them became so fixated on reaching them that they ignored their personal goals.

Close Reading 11/10

Trenton Healthy Food Network wages fight against childhood obesity

By: Times of Trenton Editorial Board

http://www.nj.com/times-opinion/index.ssf/2013/11/editorial_trenton_healthy_food.html

In this Editorial, from the New Jersey News, the author uses several techniques of rhetoric including diction, imagery, and details to convey his/her point that obesity among children is an ongoing issue that needs to be resolved. 

This author, who since unnamed will be referred to as he, chooses his words carefully to describe the troubling issue of obesity among children. For instance, when discussing potential prevention's for this issue, he sates the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation is working on "combating childhood obesity." The use of combating here adds a more intense feeling and makes the reader sense that there is an actual war between children and obesity. Another instance when the author uses diction to get to emphasize his point is at the very end in the last sentence, "the best ambassadors for the initiative may be the children who bring the message home along with crisp apples and crunchy carrot sticks." The detailed descriptions of the fruits; the crisp apples and crunchy carrot sticks help to add appeal to these healthy snacks that are available for children to eat, especially the reader's children. 

Imagery also plays a large role in this article to make it more convincing and appealing to the readers. When describing the traps that children fall into when they usually eat the unhealthy foods, the author states, "when children run into the corner store for an after-school snacks and see racks of trans-fat laden chips and cookies in bright, convenient packaging, that's their immediate choice." When reading this, the reader is immediately able to envision any gas station or small store they have entered and either fallen victim to this food "trap" or have seen others do it. This tool of imagery is powerful in this case because it really helps drive to the point at how often children are exposed to unhealthy choices, and unfortunately, they are usually the easier and quicker ones. The author goes on to argue that healthy snacks can be just as appealing and kids will be more likely to choose them if they are positioned in "refrigerated cases with fresh fruits and vegetables where they catch the kids' attention." This invites the reader to picture vibrant fruit and vegetables in place of where the usually unhealthy snacks sit in a small store and allows them to see how this could work and be beneficial. 

Lastly, this author includes many details including survey results and other statistics in order to more deeply portray his point. Near the beginning of the article, the author states "Federal health officials estimate eliminating trans fats from the U.S. food supply could prevent at least 20,000 heart attacks each year." This statistic most likely catches the attention of many of the readers, for unfortunately heart attacks are not that uncommon so any form of prevention is very appealing. Further on in the article the author gives some exact statistics from a survey based off of kids in the Trenton School System, "school-aged children face a 49 percent obesity rate, while 22 percent of kids ages 3 to 18 eat less than one full serving of vegetables daily and 40 percent do not eat enough fruit." These stats come off as very alerting and cause the reader to want to do something about them immediately. The details in this article have a large impact and without them it would lose a lot of its warning and urgency to fix the problem of child obesity.

 This article was written primarily to inform readers of how severe and wide spread child obesity is and that people need to start helping to prevent it very soon. The author's use of diction, imagery, and details help to enforce this urgency and show that it needs to be stopped.

Response to Material, II (Oct. 27th)

     In the past month we have covered a variety of topics, many of which I have found to be very enlightening. One of the first things we did was watch a power point and discuss the forming of multiple choice questions and answer choices. This was eye opening to learn about these because throughout my high school career I have taken several multiple choice tests but now, when I take one it's like a whole new experience. Never before did I pick up on the many different types of multiple choice questions as well as the different types of distractors and traps throughout the answer choices. Now when I take multiple choice tests I am much more conscious of how things are worded and how easily I used to fall into the mindless traps.
      Another topic we discussed this month was poetry. For me when we started "My Father's Song" by Ortiz I was a little nervous, mainly because poetry has never been my strength so I didn't want to embarrass myself in discussion. However, as the discussion continued, I began to feel more comfortable with the poem and was able to pick up on many of the ideas and details others were mentioning. I think thoroughly going through this poem really helped me with analyzing a poem, however I still think I could use some more practice.
        Annotating, annotating, annotating. We have indeed done lots of annotating this month! Which surprisingly, I haven't minded too much. I have realized in our discussion how much annotating really helps one to understand a piece of literature. Not only does annotating expose one more to the material and allow them to get more familiar with it, but it also allows one to be creative and try to draw conclusions in order to get a deeper understanding. Annotating is not the only thing that is helpful to understand literature, discussions are another very helpful way to dig deep into a book. We finished up our discussion of American Dream and are now just beginning a new discussion on Death of a Salesman. For once, I can actually say I am excited to further discuss DOS after having such a successful one of American Dream. Usually in book discussions I find it hard to add something that isn't completely obvious and irrelevant, however, with as much time as we spent on American Dream, I think I was able to develop a sense to look 'between the lines' and pick up on some important details. After the American Dream discussion I am now much more excited to start really getting into the DOS discussion. Also, I think the DOS discussion will also be better because since we watched the film I think this really helped people get a better understanding of the play right off the bat so we can quickly jump into the more complex ideas.

Open Prompts, Part One #2

2008 Student Answer’s to question #3:

Student 1:

            Overall, Student 1 had a very good and thorough response, not he/she include great detail and support on their conclusion of who the foils were, but he/she also was able to connect how the foils impacted the meaning of the story of a whole.  This is not easy to do, for sometimes students tend to get caught up in explaining the detail of the question specifically asked (displaying foils in a work) and as a consequence they do not show how that point intertwines with the meaning of the entire passage. Although as mentioned by the AP grader, the Student did say a little summary of the novel, which could be the reasoning for the one point deduction, however, he/she managed to get back on track and again focus on the main topic. When looking at this student’s actual structure of writing and diction, this student did a good job of organizing his/her essay and did a good job of using semi-formal language. This is a solid essay and indeed deserves the 8 it was given.

Student 2:

            This student does a fairly decent job describing who the foil is and the impact they have on the story, however, the foil is not actually clarified until the very last paragraph, which takes away from the essay a little. If the reader were to have stated that the father was the foil in the beginning/first paragraph, this essay would’ve been much stronger. Also, this student seemed to get a little lost and caught up in ideas throughout the body of this paper, especially when discussing Shug’s effect on Celie. I agree with the AP grader in the fact that at first it seems as though the student is trying to portray Shug as Celie’s foil. It seems this way especially when the student describes Shug as “an independent woman whom no one can stop.” This comes off to be Celie’s foil because up to this point the student has gone into great detail describing how much Celie is not an independent woman. This student struggled to clarify points but eventually brought all the ideas together in the end, I do in conclusion agree 6 was a fair score. 

Student 3:

            Let me just say…yikes! This essay was all over the place. The student does indeed state who the foil of Hassan is, however, the student also adds in some additional information that adds in confusion. For instance, in the first body paragraph when the student discusses Baba and Hassan’s loyalty, the student gives a good example of the servants, however he/she all of a sudden throws out the name “Amir” leaving the reader to assume this is the servant. The lack of the student introducing this new character added some confusion and took away from the strength of that specific example. Also, while observing the actual structure and writing of this essay, I noticed the author used very casual language throughout the entirety of the essay, as well as short/informal sentences such as, “He had good intentions.” This structuring of the essay kept it from flowing smoothly and also took away some of its importance. Overall, I think giving this essay a 4 is stretching it a little mostly due to the poor structure and actual writing of this essay, however, the student did manage to mostly answer the question asked of him/her so in that they deserve some credit. 

American Dream

Summary and Analysis of The American Dream, By Edward Albee

About the Author:

Albee was a homosexual man who due to the times lived with other men similar to him and therefor was not really exposed to women. In effect we see how his lifestyle played a role, for throughout the play the women are portrayed as power freaks who want to overrule men.

Characters:

Mommy- middle aged woman married to Daddy and daughter of Grandma. Married Daddy for his money, has a thirst for power (struggles with Daddy, Grandma, and Mrs. Barker at times to overpower them). Doesn't get along well with Grandma.

Daddy- middle aged man married to Mommy, often emasculated by Mommy, had a sex change surgery, is a governor, speaks in a childish manner and usually supports Grandma.

Mrs. Barker - works for Bye-Bye adoption Service (gave bumble to Mommy and Daddy 20 years ago). Bickers with Mommy and often fights over power; Mrs. Barker acts like she is superior.

Young Man - identical twin to the bumble and represents the new American Dream. He is very confused and feels he doesn't have a purpose or skills so he uses his good looks to get any job possible.

Setting:

A simply furnished symmetrical living room within a apartment. During the 1960's.

Plot: 

It starts by introducing Mommy and Daddy to us in the living room who are having a discussion of Mommy's beige hat that Mrs. Barker claimed to be wheat. Grandma then shows up and with her she brings several wrapped boxes and just leaves them in the living room. We are informed of Mommy and Grandma's past; Grandma had to support for Mommy due to the grandpa dying. Mommy then swore she would marry a rich man and live happily. Mommy and Grandma now have a rough relationship and bicker often. Mrs. Barker arrives and the majority of the play is a discussion among the characters who are trying to remember the reason why Mrs. Barker was called over. Meanwhile, Mommy and Daddy tell Mrs. Barker about the bumble they once had and how they mutilated it so badly eventually leading it to its death. The Young Man arrives not long after and Grandma claims him to be the new American Dream. He complains about how much he feels like a useless shell and how he is missing his twin (Mommy and Daddy's now dead, bumble). Grandma claims to the others the Young Man is the van man and makes him take her boxes outside. Once finished, he and grandma exit in the elevator. Mommy and Daddy re-enter and notice Grandma is missing, all Mrs. Barker says is the van man took her. Grandma then makes comments to the audience as Mommy and Daddy take the Young Man in and celebrate. Grandma then says few words to the audience and ends the play.

Author's Style and Narrative Voice:

This play is told through the narration of the characters. This limits the readers to what they know, for they have to guess what the characters are thinking and make assumptions about their intentions and meanings to their actions. Albee's use of tone is essential to this play, for the way each character speaks is specific to them in order to complete their roles. For example, Daddy speaks in a childish way because he portrayed as powerless and careless.

Albee also uses imagery several times throughout the play to emphasize his point of increasing consumerism and inability to gain satisfaction. This is well displayed when in great detail, the process in which Mommy and Daddy tore the bumble apart is described. This graphic scene adds a dark tone to the play and gives the reader a sense of shock and disbelief.

 

Symbols in The American Dream:

• Beige hat - shows materialism and desire to look wealthier than actually are in reality.
• Grandma's boxes - the gathering and exiting of the old American Dream.
• The bumble - the corruption of the new American Dream, commercialism and lack of satisfaction.
• Bye- Bye Adoption Agency - consumerism (Buy - Buy)

Motifs in The American Dream:

• Gender role swaps
• Childish behavior - power struggles
• Can't get any satisfaction
• Materialism/Consumerism
• Transition of the Dream

Quotes:

"You can't get satisfaction; just try. I can get satisfaction, but you can't." (62).

--> This shows how Albee believed that the stereotype of that time was that women always tried to be superior to men and believed they were better in many ways. This also shows the idea of how much people desired satisfaction. A key problem with the new American Dream is the desire for satisfaction.

"I do wish I weren't surrounded by women; I'd like some men around here" (86).

--> Daddy is lonely in the sense that he has no man to relate too. Not only did he have a sex change but he also is disconnected from other men so he doesn't know what it is like to be manly even if he wanted to be. Daddy still wants to be more masculine, however he just doesn't have a choice.

Theme:

Albee's The American Dream warns that the current generation of Americans has gutted the heart and soul of original American values and replaced them with a materialistic longing to acquire unattainable satisfaction, but there is hope for change.

This theme statement our class agreed on is supported strongly by many pieces of evidence from the book. For instance, the setting supports this claim because the period was the 1960's and during this period was the transitional from the old American Dream to the new one. Due to this, Albee included many examples of how the new American Dream has corrupted the old. The old enforced that people were hard workers, hopefulness, and motivated to work and do their best. However, Albee tries to show that these beliefs have been replaced by things such as materialism and other superficial beliefs.

The plot also supports the theme. This is because there are many instances that show that the plot is framed to prove a point and to really get to the point that people are now more needy and have more of a desire for material items and having the image of being wealthy. This is well demonstrated when Mommy has difficulties with the beige hat. Even though it may be wheat, she wants it to be beige primary because beige signifies a higher class than wheat (working class). Throughout the play Mommy and Daddy are very materialistic and focused on appearances. However, there is hope this may change because near the end when Mommy and Daddy decide to take the Young Man in, they are showing they are finally satisfied and are not at the moment concerned with being a consumer. The title is an key detail to this story, for it displays how the two American Dreams are merging into one, long behold becoming the ultimate, American Dream. These are only a few of the many aspects of the book that contribute to this provoking theme.

Close Reading 10/13

Gravity

It gives outer space back its beauty, terror, and wonder.

By: Dana Stevens

Article from: http://www.slate.com/articles/arts/movies/2013/10/gravity_with_george_clooney_and_sandra_bullock_reviewed.html

       Gravity starts in early with the rug-pulling twists and keeps them coming straight up to the end" says Dana Stevens, a movie critique who recently reviewed the new Blockbuster hit Gravity. Throughout her article Stevens goes into detail about the key effects of this thriller and what make it unique, however, she doesn't fail to add her opinion of how the movie went wrong. Stevens uses facets of diction, syntax, and imagery to encourage others to go see Gravity.
        Throughout the article Stevens maintains a everyday language with a hint of informal diction. She mostly uses common words however to emphasize some points she uses some more peculiar words. For example, she describes the characters and how they interact with one another in an interesting way, "Clooney and Bullock's exchanges in the early scenes have a disarming screwball charm-- he's unflappable if fatalistic optimistic, she's an uptight loner with a tendency to give up too soon--" her descriptions of the characters do not make them that appealing, however I think since she emphasized that they have special quirks it makes the reader more interested to see for themselves how they interact. Even this short quote displays some of the uncommon words she uses such as "unflappable and fatalistic." I think her use of this kind of wording makes the reader much more interested and even adds excitement to wanting to watch the film. Stevens does a very good job of persuading, her diction gives a sense desire and urgency to the reader to see the movie.
           Syntax is another element of rhetoric Stevens uses to support her opinion of the film. Stevens often uses longer sentences throughout the article which are full of lots of detailed descriptions and persuading ideas. The long sentences open and end ideas in one sentence; she describes and ends a point all at once to keep the readers attentions. For example, "But I think it's sage to disclose that this is an unusually paced action movie: Despite its trim 93-minutes running time, there's room for both contemplative beauty and chilling suspense (a structure enabled in part by that whirling space debris, which orbits the Earth at a set speed, allowing big action scenes to alternate with periods of serious inactivity and silence)." This is a very long sentence, however it still is very interesting and had key information for someone interested in the film. Stevens also uses punctuation as a element of persuasion, especially when describing thematic points that the dialogue shows, "Loneliness! Courage! The Need to Contact!" The use of exclamations here add drama to these points and make the reader more interested in finding out the cause behind them. Stevens uses different types of syntax in this article and in affect they make the reader much more interested in the movie.
           Stevens also uses detailed imagery to add to the appeal of this film. Supporting her statement of
"Gravity's great gift to the viewer is that it gives outer space back its beauty, terror, and wonder" she identifies outer-space as "the awe-inspiring black chasm in which our tiny blue world floats" which is a very unique way to describe space. Her use of imagery here helps place an image in the mind of the reader and therefor makes them curious to find out how the movie portrays space so well to make Stevens give it such an interesting description. Stevens highlights how well the cinematography is by describing what is shown, "an orbiting spacecraft, a character's face in close-up, a dropped tool spinning into the void-- floating into view just when we need to see it." This sentence alone instantly puts an image into the reader's mind and makes them want to see proof of these good camera skills. Another instance of good imagery is the description of the Russian satellite debris, "a dangerous cloud of jagged debris that's due to whiz past at any second." This previews some of the suspense Stevens claims it entitles.
       Stevens movie review did not seem like a typical review to me, and due to this, I am actually very interested in seeing this movie. Her tactics of some of the elements of rhetoric indeed worked on me and I am now persuaded. Usually, I never agree with film critics because they are usually too harsh or too general, however Stevens gave great details of the film and wrote in a unique way that made the film seem much more tempting.
        

Response to Material, 1

      This year has gotten off to a great start. Going into this class I was very intimidated and nervous, mostly due to seniors last year saying the work load is a lot. However, starting off this year I have found the work load to be very reasonable, I think this is mainly because whatever the homework is over I feel we do a good job covering in class.
       The first week I was a little confused about the class however. When we did the analysis of the two paintings, I was unsure of what I was supposed to get out of that activity. However, as we began to discover deeper meanings I realized it was necessary to spend that much time observing. The deep meanings we got out of those pictures was amazing, like the fact the people were standing in order of their classes, who would've guessed! If there's anything I can say about this class, it is that it has definitely blown my mind far more times than any other lit class I have had before! This is something I've really enjoyed. In previous years when I know there is going to be a discussion day in lit class, I have always dreaded it, but this year I have enjoyed it so much more, especially since it has exposed me to so many new ideas.
        Before this class, when I would try to look for any of the DIDLS elements I would usually struggle and become frustrated with myself. This was mainly because when I would try to find something such as the theme or hidden symbols, mine wouldn't always match what the teacher or other students would say and therefore, I would always think I was wrong. Luckily, this class has taught me that in literature, there is not one true meaning or perfect answer, but instead there are several. Of course some may be a little more far fetched than others, but that still doesn't mean they are wrong. I think I really started to appreciate this realization when we started to discuss the American Dream. Our discussions at first consisted of ideas that were more generic and seemed to be what you would find on Spark notes under Symbols/Themes. However, after a few days, ideas began to start flowing and new ideas came from all different angles. I think this was such a great experience to be able to hear everyone's ideas, for they would often connect some of mine. I have taken a lot out of the group discussions so far and am looking forward to more in the future.
      Another reason why I feel more comfortable with identifying DIDLS elements in literature is because of all the practice we have done. At first I thought this practice was unnecessary and repetitive, however, I began to realize it was actually helping once I found it easier to successfully identify theses items. Another helpful activity was when we analyzed previous years students essay responses. This was helpful to see how students similar to myself have grown so far in this class and are capable of pulling so much out of a reading, this gives me hope that one day I will get to a higher level and be able to score highly on the essay.
       I am really look forward to this class and have already gotten so much out of it, I hope by the end I am an expert at finding themes and symbols, which once a upon a time used to be nearly impossible for me!

Open Prompts, Part One

2005 Student Answer's to Question #2

Sample 2A:
      This essay is very impressive, the student thoroughly answers the prompt by using many detailed examples of how the author, Katharine Brush, uses literary devices to make her point. It is made clear that Brush's objective is to show how a "man's lack of interest in every-day ordinary people" is a common and depressing issue, for Brush addresses this idea in the introduction and conclusion. The student goes on to describe how the reader is placed "in a state of increasing dismay and depressing curiosity" due to Brush's repetitive use of the word "you." The student is very insightful and does a very good job of showing how Brush's diction choices played a large role in setting the mood of this short story. Also, a good explanation of Brush's imagery helps to show how symbolic some things are such as the woman's hat and the birthday cake. The student did a good job of picking out these symbols and how Brush's descriptions have deeper meanings. Overall, this student does a good job of showing their understanding of this short story through their descriptions of literary devices as well as their observations that demonstrate deep interpretations. This essay does a good job of maintaining focus and directly answering the prompt, it is well written and deserves to be scored highly.

Sample 2B:
       This student starts out very strongly when describing some of the authors use of literary devices, however, as the essay goes on, the student struggles to keep this strong point and is not as as persuasive. The student goes into detail about the irony present in the short story and describes how this irony allows the reader to pick up on the wife's unhappiness and sadness in her relationship. The student also does a good job of explaining how the change in point of view in the second paragraph played a role on the reader's feelings. However, I think when describing this change, they used a good example but then were a little repetitive with their point. The student just rephrased their idea in many different ways, this was good at emphasizing the point, but is it was also unnecessary. For instance, the student stated twice that the reader felt like "a spectator at this event." I think instead of restating a few ideas several times, the student should have touched on some of the other elements of the story to show they have a deeper understanding of the story. Overall, this was a good essay, but my main critique is to focus a little more on their interpretations.

Sample 2C:
        This student does a good job of explaining the author's purpose and the feelings that are developed among the reader, however, many other points are not highlighted and therefor offers a narrow analysis. This student did not emphasize enough any other literary devices other than the author creating emotion for the reader by using "a sympathetic outside narrator and touching details to evoke this sympathy from the reader." This point is stated in a similar manner several times throughout the essay which is not necessary. The student's observations and comments stayed primary on the surface of the short story and failed to show that they had a deep understanding. This student touched a little on the diction choice and uses some examples but again ties them back to the sympathetic feeling from the reader. The sympathy and feelings the reader felt throughout the story were well emphasized but did not describe any other literary devices used by the author in good detail. 

A Close Reading of Parents Left Behind

Article from: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/low_concept/2013/09/school_jargon_for_parents_i_can_t_understand_what_my_child_s_teacher_is.html

        In Dahlia Lithwick's article Confession: I Have no Idea What My Child's School is Even Talking About, she discusses her fear of not knowing what is going on her fifth graders school system. School systems have changed a lot over the years, and unfortunately, not all parents are caught up with the new ways. Through her use of diction, syntax, and language she explains her fear of being a "failing parent."
        Lithwick's word choice helps create an edge to her argument and emphasizes her point that parents are failing to keep up with their children's education. She gets to the point when mentions her son's open house, "if last night's open house at my son's middle school was any indication of the inexorable decline of the American parent, we are truly doomed." Rather than just saying decline, her use of "inexorable" adds a more dramatic effect. Lithwick goes on to describe her concern and describes her "lost-ness." Her use of this word shows that she felt very unfamiliar and uncomfortable at her son's school. "Lost-ness" doesn't seem to be a word that is often used in a more formal writing, however in this article it does a good job of portraying Lithwick's confusion. Lithwick chooses words that clearly show her sense of frustration and disappointment in herself due to the fact she thinks she is a "failing parent."
         Lithwick also uses syntax to help show her fear. Several times Lithwick uses shorter sentences: ""Un-levelling." We do that now. And "fitnessgram testing?" Possibly the new un-leveling" and "A pen." These fragmented sentences add a more sarcastic tone and show her irritation in a forceful manner. Lithwick also uses conjunctions at the beginning of sentences sometimes to help make connections of ideas clear. For example, "As a parent you'd strive to show your child's teachers that they were inheriting your charming young scion and listen attentively to their plans for the year. But at this year's back to school night for my fifth-grader, I think it's fair to say that I failed on every single testable metric." Lithwick's use of "but" connects the idea of what she expected to happen at the open house, and what really happened. Lithwick's use of syntax played a large role in showing her frustration and irritation with the new ways of her son's school system.
        Lastly, Lithwick's language helps generates feelings that would've otherwise been absent. For example, she discusses how she was unprepared for the open house and then goes on to say "all of these minor failings were soon swallowed up by a completely and total inability to show mastery of either curriculum or academic goals." Obviously she does not mean they were literally "swallowed up" but instead she means they were outweighed the other issues. Her use of figurative language helps demonstrate her hopelessness that may not have been as obvious before.
       Lithwick uses rhetoric to help explain the problems modern day parents face with their child's education. Lithwick thinks this is a fixable problem but it will take some time. She uses diction, syntax, and language to emphasize her points and get her concern across to the readers.

Poetry Multiple Choice

         Poetry has never been my strong point, however, after doing the practice sections in the Peterson's AP English book, I think it's safe to say I have gone from below average to about average when reading a poem and answering analytical questions. I found as I was grading my multiple choice sections that the majority of questions I answered incorrectly were either asking about the theme or main idea. Themes in literature have always been hard for me to identify. I realized as I was reading along in the poems and trying to grasp the meaning, I wouldn't focus on ideas that were consistent on the poem as a whole, instead I found myself trying to make sense of the poem stanza by stanza, which in some aspects is ok because I think you still need to pick up on details, however, this was affecting how I was answering theme or main idea questions. I think I developed a better sense of what to notice and observe when looking for a main idea or theme as I progressed through the practice tests, however, I still think there is much work to do.

Reflection of Diagnosis Test

      Going through this practice test I commonly felt I was not able to look in-between the lines. In many instances the questions would ask you to infer something from the passage, however I found this challenging and at many times I was not able to. For instance, when I read the first poem for the first time I didn't know exactly what it was about but I knew it was between two people who meant a lot to each other. However, I was not able to tell what kind of relationship they had right away. That is why question 2 through me off, I knew in the 3 mentioned stanzas lovers were discussed, but I did not think this was referring to themselves. I found it hard to make complete sense of all of these readings but I felt that I got the main idea for most of them.
      Another issue that I struggled with throughout the test was vocabulary. I realized a few times that I did not know the vocabulary in a question or answer choice and because of this it was hurting my score. For example, in questions 5 and 7 I didn't know what sanguine and laity means, and unfortunately those played a large role in the questions. Another error with vocabulary was terms that I had heard and studied before but when by each other I could not differentiate them. This happened in question 9 and 30. I have before studied what a sonnet, lyric, elegy, ode, and narrative are, however when I was taking this test I couldn't confidently say what each type of writing was. This made me very frustrated, but now I know to really concentrate more on those terms.
      Comparing each reading, I found Night Clouds to be the easiest read and most comprehendible, not only because of its size but the language reminded me of poems I had read in the past so it seemed easier to tell what the author meant. While answering the questions for this poem I felt pretty confident because I was able to tell what the deeper meaning of the poem was, however, again vocabulary became an issue in question 34 when it asks about "vermilion". I would've gotten that question right if I knew vermillion was a color.
       Overall I didn't think this practice was too hard, however I know I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to understand the deeper meaning of works and picking up on the small details that end up being essential. I also think I could use some work with my vocabulary.