2005. In Kate Chopin’s The Awakening (1899), protagonist Edna Pontellier is said to possess “That outward existence which conforms, the inward life that questions.” In a novel or play that you have studied, identify a character who outwardly conforms while questioning inwardly. Then write an essay in which you analyze how this tension between outward conformity and inward questioning contributes to the meaning of the work. Avoid mere plot summary.
This student not only answered the prompt completely but also provided many examples as to why The Scarlet Letter displays conflict between conformity and inward questioning, as well as spoke using elevated diction that allowed the essay to flow smoothly. The student's main point is clearly expressed and uses good textual evidence to support his opinions. The introduction paragraph is strong in the sense that it has a good thesis statement, that is even mentioned by the AP graders, "Dimmesdale's tension between outward conformity and inward questioning lead to the novel's message that although one might appear guiltless, all of humanity must confront its inevitable sins or be driven insane by them." This thesis clearly highlights each part of the prompt, the most important part being how the internal conflict reflects back on the work and contributes to the overall meaning. In other AP essay prompts it does not always mention this, however, it is key to always tie back a specific detail to the meaning overall. This student demonstrates this very well by using a well constructed and organized essay, emphasizing sin in the first paragraph, displaying the characters internal conflict with conformity in the second paragraph, the significance of the night setting and scaffold and how they contribute in the third and fourth paragraph, and finally in the conclusion, does a good job of wrapping up his/her point and completely a well rounded essay. I think an 8 is a well deserving score for this essay, for although the overall point and organization was done well, the organization within each paragraph itself was a little sloppy.
Student 2:
This essay was well written, however, I think a 6 was an appropriate score. The student successfully answered the prompt in the thesis and started off strong, however the essay is not brought to a full circle due to the conclusion being a bit lengthy and strays from what is being asked in the prompt. The character's struggle between conformity and inward is well displayed, "she is torn between the security of conforming and the freedom of individuality." This point is well supported throughout the essay in instances when the student mentions that there are times when the character acts sometimes due to being "her husbands little doll" and other times when she is conflicted by this and "internally, Nora, wants more independence." Overall, this student did a great job answering the prompt, however the structure and organization of this essay could have been better, as well as there were some grammatical errors that were at times somewhat distracting.
This essay was well written, however, I think a 6 was an appropriate score. The student successfully answered the prompt in the thesis and started off strong, however the essay is not brought to a full circle due to the conclusion being a bit lengthy and strays from what is being asked in the prompt. The character's struggle between conformity and inward is well displayed, "she is torn between the security of conforming and the freedom of individuality." This point is well supported throughout the essay in instances when the student mentions that there are times when the character acts sometimes due to being "her husbands little doll" and other times when she is conflicted by this and "internally, Nora, wants more independence." Overall, this student did a great job answering the prompt, however the structure and organization of this essay could have been better, as well as there were some grammatical errors that were at times somewhat distracting.
Student 3:
This student's analysis of Their Eyes were Watching God is more of a summary than an actual discussion of how the main character Janie has internal conflicts of conforming outwardly and questioning her inner self. This idea is not even directly brought up until the third paragraph, "she always knew she would not be happy until she could become her own person." The thesis should have already clearly mentioned this point, however that is not the case so as a result this essay loses understanding. If the student would have mentioned this point earlier the essay could have been better organized and directed more towards answering the prompt rather than just merely summarizing for the first one an a half paragraphs. The second to last paragraph gives some brief examples of how Janie was upset with herself and who she becoming, however, it is not well wrapped up in the conclusion and therefore is not a very strong essay.
Hey Sarena, I think you may have accidentally responded to one of the closed prompts. It's pretty confusing because there are responses to closed and open prompts in the open prompt folder, but in the future make sure you respond to the open prompts. You have some good insight in your response though!
ReplyDeleteSarena,
ReplyDeleteI think Sydney was correct in assuming that you accidentally wrote about a closed prompt instead of an open prompt. Just remember that when you're reading the student responses, all the closed prompts are about the same literary work, and all the open prompts usually examine different literary works. That's how I usually differentiate them. Otherwise, your examinations of these writers included many good quotes, which is good, and all your examples and analyses were spot-on, but you didn't answer the right kind of prompt. Take the goodness from this post and apply to the other open prompts that you'll do in the future.
Thanks guys! I didn't even realize I had done this but appreciate your comments and have now gone back and rewritten it, thank you!
ReplyDelete